Lagniappe Living with Coaching by AllyB

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Pre-Dawn Society: Being Awake is....being awake

Pre-Dawn Society: Being Awake is…..being awake

I have another blog that focuses on the 5 habits you need right now. One of those habits was to adopt a morning routine. In this blog, we will focus exclusively on why a morning routine is so important.

Own the Day!!

I have always said—if you wake up early, you own the day. And if you own the day, you own the week. And if you own the week, you own the month. And so on. Waking up before the sun is not easy. There are days that I loathe my alarm. I literally wish evil on Alexa for making that horrid noise. But on days I don’t wake up early, I am less productive, less alert, less motivated and way more tired. Yes, I am more tired when I wake up late. I’m grumpy and groggy and it takes longer for me to become awake. And that is what this blog is about. Being physically awake before the sun rises helps you be spiritually and emotionally awake in life.

Greatness is made

It has been said that greatness is not born, it is made. What does this mean? Ever heard of Kobe Bryant? He never stopped working. Never. He never rested on his laurels. He wasn't born a great ball player, he worked hard every single day to be a great ball player. It means that there is greatness in all of us. But self doubt and laziness sometimes stop of from reaching that “greatness”. However, if we work at being great, and tap into our potentials, we can achieve anything. But it takes work. And work is hard. So lots of us stop there. But we don’t have to. Waking up earlier than our bodies would normally or naturally, can help us have more time in the day to achieve what we want and if we make our early morning routines count, we can make BIG things happen every day.

Here is a list of successful people who have early morning routines: Mark Cuban, Jack Dorsey (CEO at Square), Oprah, Arianna Huffington, Ernest Hemingway, Richard Branson (founder and chairman of Virgin Group), Sheryl Sandberg, Mark Zuckerberg, Benjamin Franklin, Bill Gates, Michelle Obama, Jennifer Anniston, Bill McNabb (Chairman of the Vanguard Group), General Stanley McChrystal (retired U.S. Army four-star general), Mellody Hobson (President of Ariel Investments), L. Rafael Reif (President of M.I.T.), Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert), Mary Barra (Chief Executive at GM), Tim Armstrong (CEO at AOL), Indra Nooyi (CEO at PepsiCo), Tim Cook (CEO at Apple), Bob Iger (CEO at Disney), Ursula Burns (CEO at Xerox), Margaret Thatcher, Napoleon, Condoleeza Rice, John Grisham (author), Mozart, and Frank Lloyd Wright.

What should your morning routine consist of?

I believe to achieve maximum benefits, your morning routine should consist of these 5 steps:

1. Move

Exercise. You don’t have to go to the gym or run 15 miles in the early morning hours, but some kind of movement is good for you first thing in the morning. I tend to do a few rounds of sun salutations or simple stretches to get the muscles limber.

Benefits—It enhances your energy levels. It also gives you less ability to make excuses for not exercising. Waiting until the end of the day just postpones it and sometimes makes it more difficult to fit an exercise routine into your day.

2. Be Still

Meditation. Let’s be honest, you will probably never be at the level of a Tibetan monk in your ability to quiet the mind and meditate, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get the benefits of mediation. Even simply being quiet and breathing is helpful. And early in the morning it’s easier for you to be quiet because the rest of the world is still asleep.

Benefits—Mediation has so many benefits for your physical and mental health. To name a few, it helps reduce stress levels. It increases imagination and creativity. It increases self-awareness and decreases anxiety. All of these benefits help you be more productive in the upcoming day.

3. Expand

Everyone has their way of expanding their mind and growing. Reading. Journaling. Listening to podcasts. Try one of these for 15-30 minutes each day.

Benefits-- Neuroplasticity or brain plasticity is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. These changes range from individual neurons making new connections to, systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Learning new things keeps your brain young and vital and helps your brain make these new connections.

4. Set Intentions

Setting your intentions is different than meditating. This means to plan your day or strategize. I have my clients use their personalized journals to keep themselves on task. But this can mean anything that you need to set your intentions for the day—do you want to be more mindful, or more healthy? Do you need to chart out your chores or tasks for the day? Some people just set their intention for the day with a simple affirmation or mantra. Whatever “speaks” to you, is how you should accomplish setting your intentions. I believe that goal setting is the first step to being successful—the focus is on the future. But setting intentions is about truly living your “awake” life—because the focus is on you and how your values shape your life.

Benefits—setting goals helps you with an overall sense of mental well being. It also gives you long-term and short-term motivation. You organize yourself and keep yourself focused. By outlining your goals, you are more able to achieve them.

5. Be Selfish

All my clients have a section in their journal to write down the one thing they did just for themselves every single day. Sometimes I tell them it’s okay to write “breathe”. But regardless, waking up early and having a morning routine, allows you to be a little selfish and have a little extra time just for yourself. Whether it’s to drink your coffee slowly. Or watch the sunrise. Take a long, hot shower. Or just sit in quiet. Being an early riser allows you to add in some “you” time and check off some much needed self-care.

Benefits—Self care is not self-ish. It’s about making yourself a priority. Being selfish limits your ability to give to others, whereas self-care enhances it. When you are healthier, you are in a better position to help others. In addition, adding in a self-care ritual to your morning routine can boost your emotional and physical health and actually help you become more resilient and more stress-free.

Stay away from your phone

It goes without saying that we do our morning routine without our devices. It’s been said that we can change the world or we can look at our devices. It seems very simple but it’s very profound. Our devices are amazing. They keep us connected to information and people and our lives. But at the same time keep us disconnected from the present. Keep our devices shut off for the first 30 minutes or even better first hour after you wake up, keeps you focused on your morning routine and not run astray of the benefits of your “awake” time.

Did you know that 80% of all smartphone users check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up every morning? This disrupts your chances of starting the day with a calm mind and according to Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, a psychiatrist, “immediately turning to your phone when you wake up can start your day off in a way that is more likely to increase stress and leave you feeling overwhelmed.”

So, no one is saying that the ONLY way to be successful in life or in your day is to wake up before the sun, but…..why not try it? There are scientifically proven benefits of waking up early in those dark, pre-dawn hours before most of the world stirs…..so why not take advantage of it? Figure out if being awake (with me) and opening your eyes bright and early helps you see better and be more awake in your life. What do you have to lose (except a few zzzzz’s)?

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

5 Habits YOU Need to Embrace Right Now

5 Habits YOU Need to Embrace Right Now

(Not in 2 weeks. Not when this pandemic is over. Like right this second.)

1. Have a Morning Routine

I know, I know. Mornings suck. I am a recovering insomniac and terrible sleeper. Mornings used to come way too early for me. But starting this year (so for only a few months now), I wake up early and have a morning routine. It’s life changing in the very best way.

All successful people have some sort of a morning routine. (go ahead. Look it up. I’ll wait). And this is why—b/c when you own the morning, you own the day. And if you own the day, you own the week. And so on, and so on….When you don’t have to rush and throw on clothes in a panic and

Start slow. Maybe just 15 minutes so you’re not in a rush. Just enough to drink your coffee slowly. This morning routine is just for you. So don’t wake up early to do a chore. Do something for yourself. Maybe sit quietly. Maybe exercise even if that is just some stretching.

Or maybe you do what I do—wake up at least an hour early so you can watch the sunrise and meditate and plan for the day. I absolutely love my mornings now. I literally don’t know how I ever got anything done before I made this a habit. If a reformed lover of the “snooze” button can jump out of bed while it’s still dark with a smile, you can too.

2. Choose Your Words Wisely

Words have infinite power. We normally think about the affect our words have on other people. But words have a huge affect on ourselves even when we don’t even say them out loud.

At some point you’ll have heard the cliché “50 words for snow”, whether it’s a meme about language or the song by Kate Bush or if you’re a linguist geek (like me) from the anthropologist Franz Boas[1]. But either way, the concept is that there are so many ways to describe “snow” that Eskimos put an importance on the descriptions that they have come to create at least 50 words to do so. Think about that—what’s so important to you that you need at least 50 ways to describe it? Or what about the idea that some words just don’t translate from country to country because certain concepts don’t “translate” in different cultures. (The Italian word Abbiocco means the drowsiness that follows eating a big meal or Dolce far niente which loosely means a feeling that combines leisure, idleness and laziness all at once). But we don’t have a similar words in the United States—probably because we don’t put importance on slowing down and just enjoying. But now think about how many words we have to describe “stress” (i.e. pressure, tension, strain, worry, anxiety, distress, suffering, strain, trauma, etc. etc. etc.) This just goes to show you how words shape how we view things as a culture.

But even more importantly, words can also shape how we view ourselves. I have a fundamental concept that I live by—the body listens to everything the mind tells it. Let’s say that again out loud. (Go ahead, I’ll wait.) If you can master that idea, you’ll be way ahead of the pack. Here are a few ways I’ve changed my own words to myself to further that belief.

I no longer say the words can’t or cannot. Instead of saying I can’t do a particular yoga pose or can’t cook, I say I’m still working on my handstand or I’m still working on mastering souffles. Because when my body hears my mind telling it that it can’t do something, my body already starts to shut down and not even try.

I ask myself better questions. When I realize that I’m stuck or having difficulty, I used to ask myself—what am I doing wrong? With that question, it’s easy to list off a laundry list of faults and failures. Now, instead, I ask myself “what can I do today to make things better?” In that sense, I focus on the positive of what I have to do vs the negative of what has kept me back.

I have a theme song. I know, it seems silly. But the next time you go to a baseball game, see how many of the players have a song that plays when it’s their turn to bat. Their song is meant to pump them up and fire them up to play better. It’s fundamental, but it really works. Sometimes I don’t need an entire song, sometimes it’s a word or mantra that I play over and over and over again in my head. Simple mantras include “I am” “I can”, “I believe in myself”, “I choose happiness”, etc. Repeating simple phrases not only fills your head with good words vs negative words but it also helps you focus on what you are trying to accomplish.

3. Think Like a Billionaire

What? Doesn’t everyone talk to billionaires? Well, actually, I was listening to a podcast where John Demartni was talking about the secrets of billionaires. This is my favorite one and so true—wealthy people don’t spend money to buy consumables they spend money to make more money. And even more to that point, wealthy people don’t borrow money (as in credit cards) for things that depreciate. That means, I know you love those CL’s and LV purse, but if you don’t have the money, you shouldn’t be buying them. <ducks to avoid all the virtual stuff being thrown>. Now, on the other hand, if you borrow money to go to school or get more training or invest—that’s okay. But buying an item on credit for something that depreciates the minute you walk out the store (or drive it off the lot) is not a habit that wealthy people do. They buy those things in cash—and only if they are debt free.

I quick way that I save money is to sweep 20% of everything I make into a savings. But I am self-employed so it’s my way of doing a self check. But I didn’t always have such discipline. When I started my law practice, there were months I was worried that I wouldn’t make any money and wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. I had student loans and credit card debt and saving was the like for real grown ups. But my way of saving back then was to get myself out of debt. Blah. Boring. But you know what—it worked. And then I could do some real work to build wealth.

It’s the baby steps. Limit your extra spending. Pay off that credit card. Keep the car for a little longer before you get another car note. Make saving a priority. Soon it will become a habit. One that will only continue to “work” for you.

4. Being Grateful

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before—"be thankful for what you have” or “count your blessing”. But truth is, having a gratitude practice changes your brain and makes you happier and less likely to be depressed. Most studies show that gratitude is helpful for well-functioning people. But in one study from Berkley, the researchers found that gratitude can be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. [2]

So, how does gratitude make us happier? It’s not just about being positive (hint: it’s about not being so negative). Gratitude keeps us from being negative. When we have a gratitude journal or gratitude practice that includes writing, the same Berkley study showed that the participants who used less negative words and more inclusive words like “we” were the ones that were happier. Gratitude helps us focus on the positive rather than ruminate on the negative.

How long does a gratitude practice take to feel the effects? Many studies show that having a gratitude practice works pretty quickly. However, even more interesting is that the practice of gratitude actually gets greater with time. So the good news is gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.

And in a follow up study[3], researchers found that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future and contribute to improved mental health over time.

5. Know What you Want (Goal Setting)

How do you know what you want if you don’t know what you want. And what I mean by setting goals is two-fold: (1) you need to be specific. Don’t just say I want to be rich, say you want to have $____ in the bank. And (2) shoot big with those goals. I mean shoot big and make it long term—not just that you want to organize your closet or learn to cook gumbo. (both of which are great goals btw). I’m talking about goals like—I want to buy a new house with a closet that is as big as my bedroom and I want to be the head chef at Spago or Joel Robuchon. BIG really BIG.

And once you know what you are aiming for, it’s a lot easier to take those steps to get there. Because defining goals triggers action. That means having clear and compelling goals motivate you into making them happen.

I once asked a friend who was unemployed what kind of job she wanted. She responded with “the paying kind”. I said but like—tell me more. And to my surprise, that’s really all she had. I told her she needs to write down what she was really wanting because how else will she know when it comes along? At first she was confused but then that’s exactly what she did. I mean, how is the universe going to send you something if you don’t even know what you want? Now, I don’t need you to believe in whether or not the universe will hand you over your dreams on a silver platter in order for it to happen. But you do need to know exactly what you want to accomplish before you can accomplish it. Try it. See if it doesn’t make you put in an effort to focus and try to narrow down what you really desire. And then…..make it happen.

These 5 simple habits are life changing. We are in a strange predicament where it almost seems like time stands still yet we have so much time on our hands. Modifying your behavior and incorporating these 5 little habits can begin to "unstuck" you and get you motivated to make big strides in your life. What do you have to lose?

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997. She has been practicing family law for over 20 years. She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She is also a certified yoga instructor (R.Y.T.-200) and has been practicing yoga for about 4 years now. She lives in Houston, Texas. She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order. Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce. If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or www.texasyogalawyer.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. And visit her blog-- https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com

[1] For more on Franz Boas, see “The Passion of Franz Boas” by Herbert S. Lewis, American Anthropologist, Vol. 103, No. 2 (Jun., 2001)

[2] Y. Joel Wong, Jesse Owen, Nicole T. Gabana, Joshua W. Brown, Sydney McInnis, Paul toth & Lynn Gilman (2018 Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a. Randomized controlled trial, Psychotherapy Research, 28:2, 192-202, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332

[3] Id.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Everything I need to know I Learned in Yoga...Part 2

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Yoga: How I transformed my life with yoga, even if you’re not down, dog.

Forward

I went to my first yoga class when I was 44 years old. I never thought yoga was for me. In fact, I was pretty sure that yoga was only for 22 year olds or size 2 ladies who lunch. That’s what I told my friend Michelle when she suggested I try a class. I remember telling her, “I don’t think I’m flexible enough to go to yoga.” To which she said, “Flexibility is not a requirement, it is a result.” Now, being a lawyer (and a pretty good one at that), I can argue pretty much any side of the argument. But truth is—I had no comeback to her comment. So on a day in September 2016, I put on my only pair of yoga pants a tank top, grabbed my $25 dollar yoga mat recently purchased from amazon and made myself as small as I could in the back of a yoga class in a suburb of Houston, Texas. I tried my best to be invisible and not make a fool out of myself. I remember slipping and sliding off my mat and looking up every three seconds to make sure that I was doing it “right” all the while pulling and tugging at my yoga pants and tank top to readjust my wardrobe malfunctions. But I made it through the 75 minutes and didn’t die of embarrassment or some freak bending accident. And even better—I went back.

In the first few months, I thought to myself—this is totally for me. I’m competitive with myself and I like to push myself. I learned some pretty difficult poses in a very short period of time—i.e. wheel, crow and even headstand. When people told me they had been working on those poses for years, I thought to myself “I knew it, I’ve got this!” But then I started to really “get” yoga. And by that I mean, I got that it’s not about rushing through poses or about the “destination” but rather it’s about the journey. I started to learn to slow down and let the process happen vs trying to force it and check something off my “yoga list”.

I learned so much in my journey through yoga. Not at all what I expected to learn and yet so much more. I know it sounds cliché but yoga has literally changed my life. I “get” that I need to slow down. I “get” that I need to throw out all my expectations for myself. I now joke that it took me almost 3 years to go 3 inches (in my split) and I’m okay with that speed. Never did this type-A, overachiever, first born, self-centered, impatient, out-spoken divorce lawyer think that yoga would be the best thing to ever happen to her. But here we are….and here is my journey….

I Posted Part 1 already. This is Part 2:

11. Balance

When I was a baby lawyer, my friend and mentor Linda told me I can be a lawyer, wife and mother but on any given day, I’ll can only do 2 of those things well. It took me years to understand what she meant. I thought she was telling me that I won’t always measure up. Or that I would have to drop the ball on one of my “duties” on any given day. But what she really meant was that it’s okay to not be 100% at every single thing every single day. And to not beat up myself because of it.

It’s the same thing in yoga. There are days where you do the very BEST warrior 3 and transition to half moon like an Instagram pro. And then there are days when you wobble in mountain. No two days are exactly alike. And just because you can do it one day, doesn’t mean you can do it again the next day or ever again. And that’s okay.

And that’s what I learned in yoga. I learned that balance is not about doing it all, it’s about doing it and showing up again the next day and trying again. And if you can’t do it, not to feel guilty or punish yourself for not being “perfect”. See what Linda was telling me but I didn’t really get until after yoga was that balance is not about being at 100% at every single thing every single day. It’s about coming back and doing it again the next day and the next and the next and the next….

12. You need a Strong Core

In life, I think the people that I look up to and admire the most are the people who have a good sense of self and know what their core beliefs are and are not afraid to stand up for them and live those beliefs each day. I always thought those people had this amazing ability that I was lacking. I had to

In yoga class, I thought I could do all these difficult poses because I had strong quads and strong triceps. No problem! Except that I can have strong everything but if my core is not strong enough, there’s no way I’m doing that headstand or that flying position. It all comes back to the core. When you have a strong core in yoga, you have your foundation and can branch out. You realize that with time, your core gets stronger and stronger. And that your core is the center of all that you do.

And that’s what I learned in yoga, that when you actually write down or identify what your own core beliefs are, it’s not so hard to live them every day. Having known core beliefs allows you to approach every difficult situation with integrity and sureness. It makes it such that you don’t feel like the path before you is a hard one rather it makes it seem like you have sign posts and street lights pointing you in the “right” direction at all times. And once you have a tried and true direction, you realize it only gets easier and easier to make decisions. And you realize that your beliefs get stronger and stronger with use.

13. Mountains

Being from New Orleans, I don’t get to see mountains on a regular basis. (I mean, at all. You have to be on an interstate overpass in New Orleans to actually be at sea level there.) But starting about age 7, my extended family started going to Colorado for summer vacation. I remember seeing giant mountains peaked with pointy rocks and sprinkled with snow and thinking—wow! This may be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure going to Colorado and hiking each summer was the basis for my love of geology (which I took in college and to this day, think I’m part geologist/admirer of all rocks and shiny things). While I was fascinated by mountains, I still didn’t think they did anything. They just “were”.

When I first took yoga and was told to be in mountain pose, I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes so loudly the entire class could hear me. I thought to myself—"this is yoga? Ummm…I’m pretty sure this is called ‘standing’”. And I wanted to giggle every time an instructor would have us do this “pose”. But I complied. For about 2 years. Then, after about 2 years of practice (and lots of extra training and listening and research and letting it all sink in), I realized what and why mountain pose was important. It’s to center us. To ground us.

And that’s what mountain pose in yoga taught me. You can just “be” and it have an impact. Mountains are majestic and powerful. They are awe inspiring. They are grounded in the earth and reach for the clouds without moving. I’ve learned I can be the same. You can have a dynamic presence just by being you. You can fill up a room just from walking in the room. You can be all those things when you find yourself grounding in the earth and reaching towards the stars in your every day life.

14. Get twisted, sister!

In life, getting all twisted means that you are stressed and confounded. Well, it used to. Now the new definition is to be mistaken—as in “don’t get it twisted”. But either way, being twisted whether it’s yourself, your hair, wire, etc. It means to be tangled and restrictive.

In Yoga, getting twisted is a good thing. There’s some scientific evidence that twisting poses are good for us in that they improve circulation (not necessarily that twisting poses detox our organs). But there’s another benefit that twisting positions help—they actually untangle us. They lengthen our torso so we can stand taller, have better posture and breathe deeper. By tangling our bodies we are untangling them at the same time.

And that’s a side benefit of what yoga has done for me. Yoga has gotten me to realize that you can do something that may seem like it’s not right for you and it be exactly what you need. Yoga has helped me to realize that I don’t know everything. That I sometimes have to let go and just do what’s in front of me rather than fight it. I never realized crunching myself up would be a way to make me uncrunch myself. Yoga has me seeing in different perspectives. And I’m so thankful for this gift that yoga has brought to me.

15. You are a warrior

I joke that as a kid, my parents let us be feral and raise ourselves. So from the very beginning it was “eat or be eaten”. I had to learn to get in and fight for myself. And then I went to law school. That’s where it got even worse. That’s where you had to do better than the person sitting next to you because grades were on a curve. There were no “A’s”, it was whomever did the “best”. And even if you technically “passed” a class, you could fail if you happen to fall in the bottom 30%. I feel like all of this prepared me to be a “fighter”. To be better than…xyz. To prevail. But there’s a difference between being a fighter and being a warrior.

When I started yoga, warrior II seemed like a very basic pose. Not too hard at all. Let me just rush through it to get to a pose that actually made me have to “do something”. It wasn’t until I had been practicing for over a year and went back to take a gentle/basic class and had to hold Warrior II for more than just a breath. It felt powerful. It felt strong. It felt heroic.

And that’s what yoga taught me. It taught me that being a warrior is not just about being a fighter, it’s about being brave and bold and daring. But being a warrior is also when you slow down and focus inwards. It’s not always about fighting and winning. It’s about being proud of what you do and being courageous enough to take the risk.

16. Sometimes you need props

When we are young, we have no shame that we need training wheels. But at some point, we “graduate” and are supposed to have it all figured out. Like the baby bird that gets kicked out of the nest. In my real life, it’s hard to ask for help. I have this idea that I need to be on my top game all the time.

I felt the same way when I started yoga. I thought, hey, I can do this pose. I don’t need to use blocks or a strap—those are for the people who can’t do it the “right way”. But I realized that there are some days, it’s harder to get into that pose without a little help.

And that’s what yoga taught me, that we ALL need props sometimes. Sometimes we need that little extra to get us where we need to get. And it’s okay if the day before we didn’t need them. We shouldn’t feel badly for not be perfect. We shouldn’t feel shame for needing help. That’s the purpose of the “props”, they are there to help on days we need them.

17. It’s a practice not a performance

Growing up, I felt like I was always putting on a show. Maybe it’s because my family is a bunch of entertainers (not literally or anything but they are definitely the life of parties). And I studied acting in HS and was completely enthralled by theater so I’m sure that contributed to my flair for the dramatics. Oh yeah, and my profession. My profession definitely amped up my need to take dramatic pauses and wax poetically as if I’m forever impassionedly arguing for a (non-existent) jury.

So when I started yoga, I naturally thought yoga class was a place to show off all your skills. Like—ALL of them. So I bought hundreds of dollars of designer yoga gear and headed to the stage—I mean yoga studio. Where I assumed everyone watched everyone and silently critiqued or applauded the rest of the class. I was certain that every wrong arch of my back or missed toe point would be discussed in a secret yoga mean girl back room. But then I realized (after just a few weeks thank goodness) that no one cared what I was doing. Everyone in the class was focused on what they were doing that day and could care less how many times I mistook my left side for my right (probably at least twice).

I realized that yoga is the kind of practice that actually takes a lot of practice. And even if you master a pose, in order to maintain it you have to work at it. And to work at it, you have to focus on what you are doing and not what everyone else is up to. And in yoga class they celebrate your victories—not revel in your failures. No one (well I hate absolutes but…) wants to see you face plant in your crow attempt. No one goes to yoga class to watch their fellow students make mistakes. And I realized that yoga class is an uplifting and forgiving place. And I try so hard to let that beautiful accepting part of yoga spill over to other parts of my life. Yoga has truly changed the way I “perform”. I now accept that because I’m still a work in progress, I extend that philosophy to everyone else and not judge me or them so harshly.

18. Regret and Yoga are 4 letter words (Well, a 6 letter word, but you know what I mean).

There are so many times I just feel like I can’t get motivated and I miss out on something. But then I regret that I didn’t do it. And having 3 active kids and a full time job, makes it even harder to carve out time for myself. I’ve always liked to work out but not loved it. So it was hit or miss most of my life.

When I got in the groove of things with yoga (after my first month or so), it was the first time in my life (and remember, I’m pretty old) that I loved exercise. I mean loved it. I looked forward to it. I needed it. I couldn’t get enough. And even on those days that I was tired or had so much to do or hungover (what?) or just plain lazy, I still showed up to class. And it was absolutely the best part of my day. (sorry family).

And that’s what I learned from yoga. That regret was really a bad word. And while trying to make the decision to go to yoga class or not, the worst thing I could do is not go. And so I started bringing that into my life as well. Reminding myself that once I’m in class, the only thing I’d really be regretting is if I wasn’t there. And so I started doing lots of new things and reminding myself that once I’m “there” or once I’m doing the new thing, I don’t regret being there.

19. What’s your intention?

Most people go through their day in a robot like state. I know I used to be like that. Wake up. Shower. Go to work. Come home. Eat dinner. Go to bed and do it all over again and again and again. But even in my prior exercises, I felt like I was just getting on the treadmill and just doing my routine over and over again without much thought.

When I started yoga class, I loved how the yoga instructor would ask you to set an intention. It’s such a simple little act. And at first, I didn’t really understand the real importance. But after some time, I get that when we make an intention we are consciously opening our eyes to ourselves, our bodies and our purpose.

And that is what yoga taught me—that there is a real purpose in even the simplest of things. When we make an intention, we intend to do something. And when we intend to do something, we are more likely to accomplish it—rather than just go through the motions. It’s amazing that just making an intention can make you more efficient, more productive, and more aware. I now start every single day with an intention. With a purpose. With a goal in mind. It’s such a powerful way to live and all because of yoga class.

20.Corpse Pose

I’m pretty sure I’ve said many many times in my life that I’m dead tired or I’m dead to the world or that I slept like the dead. But actually wanting to behave as if I’m lying in a coffin –well—seems really really bizarre (and I’m from New Orleans and people do stuff like that).

And when I started yoga, I remember thinking—corpse pose? Isn’t that a little morbid? Little did I know, that after about a year (okay, so I’m a slow learner), being “dead” was what kept bringing me back to yoga.

And that’s what I learned from yoga, that to feel alive and be “woke”, you need a little corpse pose. You need to be still and quiet (like the dead) in order to live. Again, it’s a simple simple concept that really didn’t resonate in me until so late in life and only after I really accepted yoga and my yoga practice.

Look for part 3 soon.

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997. She has been practicing family law for over 20 years. She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas. She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order. Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce. If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com