What is a Divorce Coach?

Divorce—the real and raw statistics 

 

In the United States, 42-45% of first marriages end in divorce.  And 60% of second marriages end in divorce.  In the US, someone gets divorced every 13 seconds.  First marriages last an average of 8 years.  25% of people over the age of 18 years old, have had their parents divorce. The average age of someone getting divorced is 30 years old.   One out of every 10 children will go through multiple divorces with their parents.  And shockingly, 40% of American children have no father in their lives.  

 

In light of these scary statistics, is there a way to have a “healthy divorce”?

 

The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear.  Sometimes these feelings can rise up when you least expect them, catching you off guard.  Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside.  In the meantime, there are resources to help and things you can do to help you get through this phase.

 

Divorce does not have to be war.  There are ways to work towards the same goal.  There are options that allow you to avoid the courtroom.  Alternative Dispute Resolutions like mediation and even Collaborative Law allow parties to work together without running down to the courthouse to get answers.  This not only helps parents heal faster and be efficient, it also can save the parties money in the long room.

 

When children are involved

 

Divorce can be traumatic to children.  But research suggests that most children adjust well within two years following the divorce.  On the other hand, children often experience more problems when parents remain in high-conflict.  During a divorce, parents can do a lot to ease the child’s transition.  Do your best to keep any conflict away from the kids.  And do your best to talk to your children so they understand it’s not their fault that their parents can’t work things out.

 

Take care of yourself

 

The changes and stresses that are brought on by separation and divorce and more so the divorce process can be overwhelming.  But it’s important to remember to take care of yourself and not get distracted that it affects your normal daily life too much.  It’s a good idea to surround yourself with family and friends and other support.  It’s very important to eat right, get exercise and sleep during this time as well.

 

 

 

How a Divorce Coach can help?

 

We work as a team with lawyers and other professionals through out the divorce process by doing the non-legal work that lawyers don’t have the time or resources to do.  In addition, divorce coaches provide customized support to parties in all areas of their lives that allow them to be better litigants, better parents, and better clients.  Divorce coaches help people get “unstuck” during this transitional phase of their life.

 

What are examples of Services provided by a Divorce Coach during the Divorce Process?

 

·      Navigating people through the divorce process and providing explanations for the many stages of divorce 

·      Helping people avoid the biggest and most common mistakes during the divorce process

·      Working with people through the personal and financial needs and concerns for parents and children

·      Helping people build a personal support system

·      Providing resources for other needed professionals (therapists, life coaches, financial planners, parenting facilitators/coordinators, health and wellness care professionals)

·      Teaching strong co-parenting skills

·      Helping people set reasonable goals for the divorce/litigation process

·      Assisting people to clarify and focus their concerns to encourage sound decision making

·      Witness and trial preparation 

·      Getting people ready for life “after the divorce”

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing  family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram @coachingbyallyb and @texasdivorcecoahc, Facebook and Twitter @coachingbyallyb.  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com.