Gris Gris Bag

 

What is a gris gris bag?  According to Merriam-Webster is a talisman, amulet, voodoo charm, spell or incantation believed capable of warding off evil and  bringing good luck to oneself or of bringing  misfortune to another.  According  to Wikipedia gris gris is voodoo amulet originating from Africa which is believed to protect the wearer from evil or bring luck.  It consists of a small cloth bag…containing ritual number of  small objects, worn on the person.  And  since I grew up in New Orleans where the phrase “I need a little gris gris for that” was common place, I have decided to let you in on what I believe needs to be in everyone’s gris gris bag to bring happiness and ward off bad juju.  

 

         Historically, gris gris is made up of the 4 elements of earth, air, water and fire.  Of course your gris gris bag will be unique to you as you are the only one who can use them to be the best version of you.  That being said, here is my take of the 4 essential elements that everyone’s life gris gris bag should be comprised of:

 

                      

     Goals

 

     How do you know what you want if you don’t know what you want?  And what I mean by setting goals is two-fold:  (1) you need to be specific.  Don’t just say I want to be rich, say you want to have $____ in the bank.  And (2) shoot big with those goals.  I mean shoot big and make it long term—not just that you want to organize your closet or learn to cook gumbo. (both of which are great goals btw).  I’m talking about goals like—I want to buy  a new house with a closet that is as big as my bedroom and I want to be the head chef at Spago or Joel Robuchon. BIG really  BIG.  

And once you know what you are aiming for, it’s a lot easier to take those steps to get there.  Because defining goals triggers action.  That means having clear and compelling goals motivate you into making them happen.

I once asked a friend who was unemployed what kind of job she wanted.  She responded with “the paying kind”.  I said but like—tell me more.  And to my surprise, that’s really all she had.  I told her she needs to write down what she was really wanting because how else will she know when it comes along?  At first she was confused but then that’s exactly what she did.  I mean, how is the universe going to send you something if you don’t even know what you want?  Now, I don’t need you to believe in whether or not the universe will hand you over your dreams on a silver platter in order for it to happen. But you do need to know exactly what you want to accomplish before you can accomplish it.  Try it.  See if it doesn’t make you put in an effort to focus and try to narrow down what you really desire.  And then…..make it happen.

  

         

 

       Gratitude

 

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before—"be thankful for what you have” or “count your blessing”. But truth is, having a gratitude practice changes your brain and makes you happier and less likely to be depressed. Most studies show that gratitude is helpful for well-functioning people.  But in one study from Berkley, the researchers found that gratitude can be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. [1]

         So, how does gratitude make us happier?  It’s not just about being positive (hint: it’s about not being so negative). Gratitude keeps us from being negative.  When we have a gratitude journal or gratitude practice that includes writing, the same Berkley study showed that the participants who used less negative words and more inclusive words like “we” were the ones that were happier.  Gratitude helps us focus on the positive rather than ruminate on the negative.

How long does a gratitude practice take to feel the effects?  Many studies show that having a gratitude practice works pretty quickly.  However, even more interesting is that the practice of gratitude actually gets greater with time.  So the good news is gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.

And in a follow up study[2], researchers found that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future and contribute to improved mental health over time.

 

                          

          Growth mindset

         

         What is a growth mindset?  It was a term introduced by Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. [3]  It is the belief that one’s abilities can improve through effort and learning.  This presents as opportunities for growth and encourages a willingness to experiment and learn—essentially to grow.

            The concept of growth mindset is supported by the scientific concept of neuroplasticity of the brain.  This is the ability our brains have to be flexible and change.  Neuroplasticity continues throughout our lifetime and is not limited to when our brains are still forming.  

         In her research, Professor Dweck suggests that a grown mindset drives motivation and achievement.  When people believe that they can improve their abilities, they understand that effort makes them stronger.  

         Here are some simple ways to develop a growth mindset:

·      See challenges as opportunities

·      Embrace mistakes as progress 

·      Seek feedback

·      Set achievable goals

·      Celebrate success  with others

·      Cultivate a sense of purpose

·      Praise effort and progress

          

 

     Getting into the groove

 

     I know, I know.  Mornings suck.  I am a recovering insomniac and terrible sleeper.  Mornings used to come way too early for me.  But starting this year (so for only a few months now), I wake up early and have a morning routine.  It’s life changing in the very best way.  

All successful people have some sort of a morning routine. (go ahead.  Look it up.  I’ll wait).  And this is why—because when you own the morning, you own the day.  And if you own the day, you own the week.  And so on, and so on….When you don’t have to rush and throw on clothes in a panic and 

Start slow. Maybe just 15 minutes so you’re not in a rush.  Just enough to drink your coffee slowly.  This morning routine is just for you.  So don’t wake up early to do a chore.  Do something for yourself. Maybe sit quietly.  Maybe exercise even if that is just some stretching.  

Or maybe you do what I do—wake up at least an hour early so you can watch the sunrise and meditate and plan for the day.  I absolutely love my mornings now.  I literally don’t know how I ever got anything done before I made this a habit.  If a reformed lover of the “snooze” button can jump out of bed while it’s still dark with a smile, you can too. 

I have always said—if you wake up early, you own the day.  And if you own the day, you own the week.  And if you own the week, you own the month. And so on.  Waking up before the sun is not easy.  There are days that I loathe my alarm.  I literally wish evil on Alexa for making that horrid noise.  But on days I don’t wake up early, I am less productive, less alert, less motivated and way more tired.  Yes, I am more tired when I wake up late.  I’m grumpy and groggy and it takes longer for me to become awake.  And that is what this blog is about.  Being physically awake before the sun rises helps you be spiritually and emotionally awake in life.

 

              

 

 

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing family law for over 25 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She has been practicing yoga for about 10 years and made a dream come true when she became a certified yoga instructor RYT 200 in June 2020 and her RYT 500 in June 2023.  She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  She also calls herself the yoga lawyer.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  You can follow her on Instagram  (@txyogalawyer, @yogalawyer1123, @coachingbyallyb, @texasdivorcecoach) Facebook @AllysonN.BrupbacherEsq. @Coachingbyallyb Twitter (@coachingbyallyb), and TikTok @yogalawyer.  And visit her blog-- https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

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[1] Y. Joel Wong, Jesse Owen, Nicole T. Gabana, Joshua W. Brown, Sydney McInnis, Paul toth & Lynn Gilman (2018 Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a. Randomized controlled trial, Psychotherapy Research, 28:2, 192-202, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332

[2] Id.

[3] Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.