Gris Gris Bag

 

What is a gris gris bag?  According to Merriam-Webster is a talisman, amulet, voodoo charm, spell or incantation believed capable of warding off evil and  bringing good luck to oneself or of bringing  misfortune to another.  According  to Wikipedia gris gris is voodoo amulet originating from Africa which is believed to protect the wearer from evil or bring luck.  It consists of a small cloth bag…containing ritual number of  small objects, worn on the person.  And  since I grew up in New Orleans where the phrase “I need a little gris gris for that” was common place, I have decided to let you in on what I believe needs to be in everyone’s gris gris bag to bring happiness and ward off bad juju.  

 

         Historically, gris gris is made up of the 4 elements of earth, air, water and fire.  Of course your gris gris bag will be unique to you as you are the only one who can use them to be the best version of you.  That being said, here is my take of the 4 essential elements that everyone’s life gris gris bag should be comprised of:

 

                      

     Goals

 

     How do you know what you want if you don’t know what you want?  And what I mean by setting goals is two-fold:  (1) you need to be specific.  Don’t just say I want to be rich, say you want to have $____ in the bank.  And (2) shoot big with those goals.  I mean shoot big and make it long term—not just that you want to organize your closet or learn to cook gumbo. (both of which are great goals btw).  I’m talking about goals like—I want to buy  a new house with a closet that is as big as my bedroom and I want to be the head chef at Spago or Joel Robuchon. BIG really  BIG.  

And once you know what you are aiming for, it’s a lot easier to take those steps to get there.  Because defining goals triggers action.  That means having clear and compelling goals motivate you into making them happen.

I once asked a friend who was unemployed what kind of job she wanted.  She responded with “the paying kind”.  I said but like—tell me more.  And to my surprise, that’s really all she had.  I told her she needs to write down what she was really wanting because how else will she know when it comes along?  At first she was confused but then that’s exactly what she did.  I mean, how is the universe going to send you something if you don’t even know what you want?  Now, I don’t need you to believe in whether or not the universe will hand you over your dreams on a silver platter in order for it to happen. But you do need to know exactly what you want to accomplish before you can accomplish it.  Try it.  See if it doesn’t make you put in an effort to focus and try to narrow down what you really desire.  And then…..make it happen.

  

         

 

       Gratitude

 

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before—"be thankful for what you have” or “count your blessing”. But truth is, having a gratitude practice changes your brain and makes you happier and less likely to be depressed. Most studies show that gratitude is helpful for well-functioning people.  But in one study from Berkley, the researchers found that gratitude can be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. [1]

         So, how does gratitude make us happier?  It’s not just about being positive (hint: it’s about not being so negative). Gratitude keeps us from being negative.  When we have a gratitude journal or gratitude practice that includes writing, the same Berkley study showed that the participants who used less negative words and more inclusive words like “we” were the ones that were happier.  Gratitude helps us focus on the positive rather than ruminate on the negative.

How long does a gratitude practice take to feel the effects?  Many studies show that having a gratitude practice works pretty quickly.  However, even more interesting is that the practice of gratitude actually gets greater with time.  So the good news is gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.

And in a follow up study[2], researchers found that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future and contribute to improved mental health over time.

 

                          

          Growth mindset

         

         What is a growth mindset?  It was a term introduced by Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. [3]  It is the belief that one’s abilities can improve through effort and learning.  This presents as opportunities for growth and encourages a willingness to experiment and learn—essentially to grow.

            The concept of growth mindset is supported by the scientific concept of neuroplasticity of the brain.  This is the ability our brains have to be flexible and change.  Neuroplasticity continues throughout our lifetime and is not limited to when our brains are still forming.  

         In her research, Professor Dweck suggests that a grown mindset drives motivation and achievement.  When people believe that they can improve their abilities, they understand that effort makes them stronger.  

         Here are some simple ways to develop a growth mindset:

·      See challenges as opportunities

·      Embrace mistakes as progress 

·      Seek feedback

·      Set achievable goals

·      Celebrate success  with others

·      Cultivate a sense of purpose

·      Praise effort and progress

          

 

     Getting into the groove

 

     I know, I know.  Mornings suck.  I am a recovering insomniac and terrible sleeper.  Mornings used to come way too early for me.  But starting this year (so for only a few months now), I wake up early and have a morning routine.  It’s life changing in the very best way.  

All successful people have some sort of a morning routine. (go ahead.  Look it up.  I’ll wait).  And this is why—because when you own the morning, you own the day.  And if you own the day, you own the week.  And so on, and so on….When you don’t have to rush and throw on clothes in a panic and 

Start slow. Maybe just 15 minutes so you’re not in a rush.  Just enough to drink your coffee slowly.  This morning routine is just for you.  So don’t wake up early to do a chore.  Do something for yourself. Maybe sit quietly.  Maybe exercise even if that is just some stretching.  

Or maybe you do what I do—wake up at least an hour early so you can watch the sunrise and meditate and plan for the day.  I absolutely love my mornings now.  I literally don’t know how I ever got anything done before I made this a habit.  If a reformed lover of the “snooze” button can jump out of bed while it’s still dark with a smile, you can too. 

I have always said—if you wake up early, you own the day.  And if you own the day, you own the week.  And if you own the week, you own the month. And so on.  Waking up before the sun is not easy.  There are days that I loathe my alarm.  I literally wish evil on Alexa for making that horrid noise.  But on days I don’t wake up early, I am less productive, less alert, less motivated and way more tired.  Yes, I am more tired when I wake up late.  I’m grumpy and groggy and it takes longer for me to become awake.  And that is what this blog is about.  Being physically awake before the sun rises helps you be spiritually and emotionally awake in life.

 

              

 

 

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing family law for over 25 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She has been practicing yoga for about 10 years and made a dream come true when she became a certified yoga instructor RYT 200 in June 2020 and her RYT 500 in June 2023.  She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  She also calls herself the yoga lawyer.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  You can follow her on Instagram  (@txyogalawyer, @yogalawyer1123, @coachingbyallyb, @texasdivorcecoach) Facebook @AllysonN.BrupbacherEsq. @Coachingbyallyb Twitter (@coachingbyallyb), and TikTok @yogalawyer.  And visit her blog-- https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

---

[1] Y. Joel Wong, Jesse Owen, Nicole T. Gabana, Joshua W. Brown, Sydney McInnis, Paul toth & Lynn Gilman (2018 Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a. Randomized controlled trial, Psychotherapy Research, 28:2, 192-202, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332

[2] Id.

[3] Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

I'm Training for the Centenarian Olympics

     

    My entire life, I have had a strong connection to my great grandmother—Peewee as she was nicknamed.  She lived to be 102 years old.  She and I  have several things in common  (our tastes in  perfume, our love of bacon and eggs, our height  [don’t laugh], we are both the mother of twins) and as long as I can remember, I’ve told my kids that I’m going to live to be 102 just like Peewee.  But I always assumed that I would get there on sheer luck and awesome French genes that I inherited from her.

I remember talking to my grandmother (one  of Peewee’s twin daughters) a few weeks before her 90^th birthday.  She told me about how she does her “stretches” every day. I said, “Mere, (pronounced “mare” which is French for mother), what do you mean you do ‘stretches’ every day?” She replied, “you know, my stretches.”  Turns out my grandmother did yoga every day for almost 50 years.  When I talked to her on her 90^th birthday I asked her if she did her “stretches”. She said, “You know, Allyson, I woke up and said—I’m 90 today, I can’t skip them.  But then I realized that the reason I’m 90 and can still do them is because I do them every day so today’s no different.”  And while my grandmother did not make it to 100 like her mother did, I started thinking maybe I need to start planning for the long game and how I’m going to be able to break the century  mark.

 Years later, I  listened to a podcast wherein Dr. Peter Attia (a well known physician who focuses on the applied science of longevity) described how he has changed his focus from extreme exercise to what he describes as the Centenarian Olympics.  He has compiled a list of tasks he wants to be able to do when he is 100 years old.  Being inspired (and believing I’m going to crack the century mark myself), I made a list as well.  Here are a few of my  “events”.[1]  

·      get off the floor with little support

·      pull myself out of a pool

·      walk up and down three flights of stairs with something in your hands

·      touch my toes 

·      stand on one foot with your eyes closed for 30 seconds

·      do the 4-7-8 breath[2] 5 times without gasping

·      get in and out of a tall car/bed without help

·      stand up from a seated position without using your hands

 

Dr. Mark Hyman, American physician and founder of the UltraWellness Center said it perfectly, “My goal is to die young at a very old age.”

Making it to Triple Digits

         Life expectancies in developed and developing  countries have been rising, causing the number of centenarians to rise as well.  In 2020, the number of centenarians rose to approximately 573,000 worldwide. That is over four times as many as in 1990.  And the predicted growth is only accelerating.  There is evidence that shows that by 2050, there may be 3.7 million centenarians across the globe. 

         Right now, the United  States has the most centenarians with  about 97,000 living in  the U.S.  Japan comes in second with 79,000 and home to the oldest known living person,Kane Tanaka who is 117 years old, which  also makes her a supercentenarian  (someone who is older than 110).[3]  Japan  is also the country with the highest rate of centenarians at 4.8 for every  10,000 people (while the US is at 2.2 centenarians for every 10,000 people). 

The bad news is that as we age, our body becomes less flexible.  Being less flexible can cause instability and stiffness and make us become less stable.  Sarcopenia (muscle loss) and osteopenia (bone loss) are common results of aging as well.  The good news is that we can do exercises that keep us more flexible and keep our bones healthier for longer.  

There’s a reason why no one wants  to buy a 10 year old used car with 200,000 miles on it.  It’s because there’s a high chance some of the parts have been worn out and need replacing and the car will never work the same as a brand new model.  Same thing with  a human body.  Overdoing physical activity at a certain age can do the same thing to our joints and tissues.  And we can’t ever get back that same spring we had as a spry young chicken (I’m pretty sure I just aged myself with that sentence).  

Conversely, you also don’t want to buy that car that’s been sitting in the driveway (or the front lawn—you know you were thinking it too)  collecting dust and that hasn’t been turned on in 5 years—because that too will cause damage to the car.  Same with a sedentary human body.  Muscles, joints and bones need to be moved to work correctly.  

How to Train for the Centenarian Olympics

According to Dr. Attia, there are four pillars of physical training that he recommends for his patients regardless of the goals or events that you plan on showcasing in your personal centenarian Olympics:

Stability

When we get older, our body’s systems that detect gravity, identify exact body positioning and promote balance and stability become less effective.  These declines increase your risk of falling, but they often occur alongside losses in muscle strength and mobility.  Put this all together and it is easy to see why falls are the number one cause of injuries among older Americans according to the National Council on Aging.  [4].  

Strength

Stronger muscles equal a longer life.   This is the conclusion of one study in theAmerican Journal  of Medicine that shows muscle mass is an indicator of longevity and health in older adults.  However, as we age, we lose muscle mass (sarcopenia) so we have to work harder at maintaining our muscle strength.  In fact, we start to lose muscle mass at age 40 and it accelerates at age 50.  The great news here is that our bodies are so amazing that muscle loss can actually be reversed.  The take home is—it’s never too late to get muscle mass.  

Aerobic Efficiency

Aerobic Efficiency is the measure of your body’s ability to create energy through the combustion of carbohydrates, amino acids and fats in the presence of oxygen.  Aerobic exercise is essential for longevity in that (among other things), it keeps your muscles strong, reduces the risks of such conditions as obesity, heart disease and diabetes, keeps your arteries clear, boosts your mood as well as keeping your mind sharp. 

Anaerobic Efficiency

Anaerobic efficiency on the other hand is the measure of your body’s ability to create energy through the combustion of carbohydrates in the absence of oxygen.  When there is not enough oxygen in the bloodstream, glucose and glycogen cannot be fully broken down to carbon dioxide and water.  Instead, lactic acid  is produced, which can build up in the muscles and degrade muscle function.  Aging has a greater impact on our body’s anaerobicendurance which means that there is a greater risk of injury for certain activities that require anaerobic activity as we age.  

Why Should We Care if We Can Participate in these Centenarian Olympics?

         This article is not mean to tell you how to get to be 100 years old.  There are several really great articles out there that focus on what factors you should look at in order to live to be 100[5][6][7].  Rather, the purpose of this article is to make you think about what do you (and you as in really you not the universal ‘you’) need to work on that would help you be where you need to be in terms of activities when you reach 100.  My list focuses on survival and being able to be self-sufficient.  

·      If I can stand on one leg with my eyes closed at 77, I’m helping my balance and I’m teaching my brain to work without my eyesight (in case I continue on this path to wear glasses at all times or even in the dark).  

·      If I can touch my toes, then if I drop something when I’m 88 years old, I can pick it up off the floor and don’t need to call for help.  

·      If I can do the breathing exercises when I’m 99, my lung capacity is such that I can be better equipped to ward off common colds and pneumonia.  I

·    If I can lift myself up from a seated position or off the floor, it can help prevent falls and all those ER visits we talked about earlier.  

    So, it’s not really  about being super fit and running marathons at 100, rather, if we start to “train” our bodies to last longer now, we can head off certain problems before they happen.

So What Now?

The short answer is—a little of everything.  As in—if you lift weights, go for a walk and do some yoga.  If you do yoga, do some HIIT classes.  And so on.  That’s the “bad” news—you need more of what you’re not getting.  The good news though is—you don’t need a lot of it.  When we are in our 20’s we think we need to push ourselves and “feel the burn” in order to make exercise count.  But in your 40’s too much of a good thing is a bad thing.  A little goes a long way in terms of stability and strength as we age.  Bottom line—just keep moving and doing and get a variety of exercise that works on stability, strength, and aerobic and anaerobic activities. 

         And come see me and say hi in 40 or 50 years—I’ll still be here.  

 

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She has been practicing yoga for about 5 years and made a dream come true when she became a certified yoga instructor RYT 200 in June 2020.  She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  She also calls herself the yoga lawyer.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram  (@txyogalawyer, @yogalawyer1123, @coachingbyallyb, @texasdivorcecoach) Facebook (@txyogalawyer and @coachingbyallyb) and Twitter (@coachingbyallyb).  And visit her blog-- https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

[1] I plan to post a more comprehensive list on my podcast in the near future.

[2] I will also have a podcast and blog on why this breathing technique is so helpful.

[3] The oldest person to ever live was Jeanne Louise Calment  (b. 21  Feb 1875) from Arles, France who died at the age of 122 years and 164 days old.  

[4] Every 11 seconds an older adult is treated in the ER  for a fall; every 19 minutes an older  adult dies from a fall

[5] Sally Wadyka, Simple Rules to Follow if you Want to Live to 100, The Health Newsletter, May 2019

[6] Diana Licalzi, Science-Backed Habits Live Past 100: Lessons from the Blue Zones, InsideTracker, October 2020

[7] Rachel Swalin, 10 Ways to Live to 100, Health.com, February 2021

Everything I Need to Know I Learned In Yoga...(Part 3)

Everything I  Need to Know I Learned in Yoga: How I transformed my life with yoga, even if you’re not down, dog. Part 3

 

 

Forward

 

I went to my first yoga class when I was 44 years old.  I never thought yoga was for me.  In fact, I was pretty sure that yoga was only for 22 year olds or size 2 ladies who lunch.  That’s what I told my friend Michelle when she suggested I try a class.  I remember telling her, “I don’t think I’m flexible enough to go to yoga.”  To which she said, “Flexibility is not a requirement, it is a result.”  Now, being a lawyer (and a pretty good one at that), I can argue pretty much any side of the argument.  But truth is—I had no comeback to her comment.  So on a day in September 2016, I put on my only pair of yoga pants a tank top, grabbed my $25 dollar yoga mat recently purchased from amazon and made myself as small as I could in the back of a yoga class in a suburb of Houston, Texas.  I tried my best to be invisible and not make a fool out of myself.  I remember slipping and sliding off my mat and looking up every three seconds to make sure that I was doing it “right” all the while pulling and tugging at my yoga pants and tank top to readjust my wardrobe malfunctions.  But I made it through the 75 minutes and didn’t die of embarrassment or some freak bending accident.  And even better—I went back.  

 

In the first few months, I thought to myself—this is totally for me.  I’m competitive with myself and I like to push myself.  I learned some pretty difficult poses in a very short period of time—i.e. wheel, crow and even headstand.  When people told me they had been working on those poses for years, I thought to myself “I knew it, I’ve got this!”  But then I started to really “get” yoga.  And by that I mean, I got that it’s not about rushing through poses or about the “destination” but rather it’s about the journey.  I started to learn to slow down and let the process happen vs trying to force it and check something off my “yoga list”.  

 

I learned so much in my journey through yoga.  Not at all what I expected to learn and yet so much more.  I know it sounds cliché but yoga has literally changed my life.  I “get” that I need to slow down.  I “get” that I need to throw out all my expectations for myself.  I now joke that it took me almost 3 years to go 3 inches (in my split) and I’m okay with that speed.  Never did this type-A, overachiever, first born, self-centered, impatient, out-spoken divorce lawyer think that yoga would be the best thing to ever happen to her.  But here we are….and here is my journey….

 

 31.    Be Generous

For some time now, I’ve wanted to be generous to others as a way of giving back for everything that I have been given.  I’m a firm believer that we should “give back” what we take.  And for me that has always meant volunteering my time and/or making financial donations.  I am thankful that I had certain opportunities in my life and feel that it is my responsibility to give to others that are less fortunate and/or in need.  I started volunteering when I was 17 years old and have consistently over the years given my time (whether it’s at Children’s hospitals, pro bono legal work or now in NCL with my daughters passing along the torch).  But it wasn’t until I started yoga that I realized maybe there were times that I was the one in need.

In yoga you need to be generous with your breath, your intention your effort and your time. I understood that concept from the start.  What I didn’t “get” until years of yoga practice was that I need to be generous with myself.  At first, I would go to yoga class a few times a month.  Just adding it to my normal workout routine.  After months and months, I started to realize that yoga “feeds” your body and your mind.  It becomes sustenance for your physical and mental health.  Once I got that, I realized that I need to be “generous” with my “helpings” of yoga.  I need to go often.  So I started putting my yoga classes on my work calendar and scheduling my days around my classes.  (This is from a girl who when I was first licensed to practice law--worked 7  days a week, 10-12 hour days and never stopped to workout.)  Imagine now that I am making exercise a priority! It’s a 180 degree change.  And not only did I see the change from being stingy with my health to being generous, I noticed that if I missed class, I could feel the difference.  I literally would crave yoga class.  

It took something as simple as 55 minutes of class time to teach me that while being unselfish in my time with others and giving back was not the only lesson that I needed to learn.  I needed to learn to be selfish with my needs and generous to myself.  

32.    Own the Day

Anyone who knows  me, knows that this is one of my favorite phrases.  It’s my version of “carpe diem” or “just do it” (thanks Nike for the cultural reference). I believe that if you put it out there that you want to make things happen, they will.  And I’ve always (and by always, I mean for about the last 20 years or so) been a believer in your ability to  put yourself out there and kick some a$$.

         So, when I started yoga, that’s exactly what I intended to do—kick some yoga butt.  I was determined to master it “all”.  Lol, little did I know, that’s not at all what was going to happen.  I realized pretty quickly that yoga had a different version of whose backside would be kicked.  I had to take a step back and realize that some days, it’s good enough to make it through the class.  Yoga reminded me that “owning” something doesn’t also mean “conquering” it.  It can also mean “doing your best” or “showing up”. Yoga taught me that I can own the day even when I’m not at 100%.  

         So now I try to remember to start each day with little expectation and see where it takes me.  Yoga has taught me to seize each day as it comes rather than me telling the day how and what I expect from it.  It’s been really freeing.

33.    It’s not supposed to hurt

I’ve always pushed myself.  I’m competitive—with myself and others.  I have to admit this but I’ve been banned (for life) from playing Monopoly.  It’s so sad but so true.  I’m like that with everything I do.

So, when I first started yoga, I thought—I’m supposed to push everything to the limit.  But that really hurt me. So much so that I thought I was going to have to have shoulder surgery.  And when I was working on poses, I’m like, I need to do this and push through the pain.  My yoga instructors were horrified.  They would say—“but yoga is not supposed to hurt”.  This lesson took me a very long time to figure out.  I thought they were just saying those words to me so I wouldn’t injure myself.  But I eventually those words sunk in.  Yoga is not supposed to “hurt”. Like at all. If it hurts, you’ve gone too far.  

That’s what I learned in yoga to help me in real life.  Things can be challenging and you can push yourself, but at the end of the day, it shouldn’t hurt.  If you wake up every morning and dread going to work, it’s not supposed to be that way.  If you yearn for change in your life so much it physically or mentally “hurts” you, you need to make that change.  Hurting is not “normal”. Hurting is not what we should be complacent about.  

34.    Let the floor catch you (part 1)

I used to say (practically my entire life) that my biggest fear is failure.  I’m sure all you type A’s out there feel the same way.  We tend to worry so much that we will disappoint people or fail that we get lost in the worrying.  

In yoga, I would listen in savasana, ‘let the floor catch you’.  For years, that meant very little to me.  But recently, during the Covid-19 pandemic, I was lying on my yoga mat and heard my instructor say the same phrase she’s said for 3 ½ years to me and it was like a lightening bolt hit me.  That doesn’t just mean—lie down and let your body release.  It means soooo much more (I almost feel silly that it took me this long to realize the meaning of that phrase).  It means, you have support and there is a limit to how far down you can go.

It’s brilliant really.  Imagine a person who is terrified of failing that she uses up time to “predict” bad things that can happen. (You realize the person is me, right?).  I would plan so much because I wanted to avoid all the “what if’s”.  But you know what?  There’s only so much “bad” stuff that can happen, right?  If I don’t have everything cooked and in “show condition” for my superbowl party—what’s the worst that can happen?  There is a “floor” to my “bad stuff”.  It’s not like there is an unlimited amount of “failure” that can come out of my one misstep.  I need to remember (and it’s still a work in progress) that my floor is proportional to what I’m doing and not this bottomless pit of abyss.  But hearing it over and over in yoga class has helped.

35.    Let the floor catch you (part 2)

Like I’ve said, I’m practically a professional worrier.  Failure is not an option in my work or home life.  I was  (many days I still ‘am’) one of those people who would spend needless hours worrying about a case or a party or an email I sent.  

There is always support—in yoga and in life.  The floor is always there to “catch” us and make sure we don’t fall through the center of the earth (in my mind that’s what all this worrying will do to you).  And you know what?  You should let the floor catch you.  You should let the person who asks if you need help, to let them help.  You should reach out and delegate tasks (both physical and mental).  It’s okay to need people.  It’s okay to not be able to do everything yourself.  (Did you guys know this your entire lives and I’m just figuring it out?  I’m super jealous.). Life we go on even if you don’t make your kids lunches every day in fun and cute shapes. Life will go on even if you don’t plan an elaborate mall scavenger hunt for 30 pre-teens for a birthday party.  Life will go on if you don’t decorate for Halloween one year and have the best haunted house in the neighborhood (y’all realize these are all my real life examples, right?). It’s still really hard for me to reach out and ask for help, but at least I do it. That’s progress.

36.    Yoga is not just about touching your toes

I used to want to be  an actress (not  because I’m so dramatic or  anything—well, I mean, I am but that’s not the reason why).  I wanted to be an actress because I always  knew  I wanted  to practice law.  I imagined myself in the shoes of Atticus Finch (from To Kill a Mockingbird)  or Billy Flinn in  Chicago wowing the crowds and  becoming impassioned.  Little did I know that the practice  of law would  be so much more and so much less  than I imagined as a teenager when I made the  declaration that I was going to be a lawyer one day.  

Yoga is not just about touching your toes.  But I didn’t know that until after going to yoga class  for years.  I grasped that yoga is a study and  all that.  But I didn’t get that yoga is not just about  exercise. It’s so much more  than exercise  and at the same time so much less.  Yoga is also about breath work and listening to your body.  It’s about meditation (in  fact yoga is like a moving meditation).  So while there is mastery  of the poses in yoga, the true “master” is one that sees how all of yoga works together.  

And that’s what yoga taught me about my  work.  

Practicing law is not all about going to court.  In fact, most cases rarely go to court. It’s about sitting there when your client  is anxious  or scared.  Or explaining some convoluted contract. Or helping fight for someone’s freedom.  And everything in life can  be that way too if we are looking  the right way.  Being  a mom  or parent is not just  having children. It’s being a nurturer and a caregiver.  It’s about be patient and understanding.  There is so much more to what we do and who we are than a little screenshot—it’s the whole not just the pieces. 

37.    Thinking Big

My parents were supportive of me.  They didn’t tell me I had limits. I can’t remember being told you “can’t” much growing up.  (Please understand that is very different from being told “no”.  I was definitely told “no” a lot). As a result, I thought I thought big.  At age 12, I would tell people I was going to be a lawyer.  And 12 years later, I did just that. When I was a lawyer, I told people I was going to be board certified.  And 6 years later, I was. So, I thought this is what thinking big means. That is, until I started doing yoga.

Yoga doesn’t just make me think big, it also makes me think small.  By that I mean, yoga doesn’t just make me set big goals for myself it makes me set small ones too.  I have a yoga vision board. I have a spreadsheet of yoga poses/stretches that I do every day (I apologize for how geeky that makes me seem. But hey, it’s the truth).  I realized that yoga makes me  not just set goals for the future but for every single day.  I can’t reach my big goals and my big yoga poses without reaching my small ones.

This concept is so profound that I now have a goal journal wherein I write down every day what I am doing to achieve my goals. (And yes, I still have that yoga spreadsheet. I know. I know). So now I remember that all my big goals start somewhere and I work on them every single day---and that to me is thinking BIG.

38.    Take a Deep Cleansing Breath

We all have heard that phrase—take a deep breath and you’ll feel better.  When people would say that to me—it’s like telling me to “calm down” when I’m in a full blown panic—it only makes things worse.  WAY worse.  I thought taking a deep breath was just a way to make a person re-focus and forget what was making them all worked up in the first place.  You know, like what you do to a 2 year old when they  are having a tantrum.  You distract them with something else.

It wasn’t until I started doing yoga that I began to understand that your breath is very powerful.  I started to learn that your breath work is just as important as your asana work (or poses).  I also realized that taking a deep breath actually does calm you down but not necessarily in the same way I always thought.  Taking a big deep cleansing breath (in through the nose and out through the mouth) tells the part of the brain (the amygdala) that we are not in a fight flight or flee state and we don’t need our body to respond in such a way to help us get through such a dilemma.  Taking a deep breath tells our body to initiate the parasympathetic nervous system (vs. the sympathetic nervous system) so it can restore a calm and composed state.  

So now, I literally take a deep breath ALL the time.  Not just to help me get back into the state that I need to be in but so I can present a more calm and focused persona to my clients and all those around me.  It’s literally as if I breathe in calm and breathe out stress.  

39.    Don’t Think—Just Do

I’ve never been a rash person.  I analyze everything.  I’m the kind of person who puts things in her on-line shopping cart for days to mull over whether or not she really needs another pair of yoga pants or another new gadget.  It’s probably why the practice of law attracted me.  You get to think and use logic rather than just be impulsive.  It’s always been the right way for me.  That is, until I started practicing yoga.

When I started yoga, I literally thought too much.   I would think—“Oh, there’s no way I can do that pose.” And guess what—I couldn’t.  So then I had a yoga instructor (yes, Mia, it was you) who told me that I need to stop getting in my head so much.  I needed to stop the self-doubt that was keeping me from really trying. I needed to literally dive head first into the pose. I had to become more careless--which wasn’t easy for me.  But it was just what I needed in order to be successful on my yoga mat.

So I brought that fool-hardy-ness back from yoga into my life.  I try to not over think things.  It helps me to be gentle with myself.  And on a different level, being impetuous helps me get up in the morning (I have an entire blog on why waking up before the sun is a great thing).  I literally jump out of bed when the alarm goes off at 5 am. I don’t let myself think about it or I know I’ll talk myself into staying in bed for just a few more minutes.  I love that yoga taught me to un-think. And who would have thought that was exactly what I needed?

40.Hanging with my Ohm-ies!

Where I grew up, I was never really exposed to chanting or sitting in a circle and singing Kumbaya.  I mean, that may seem like a surprise since I was born in the 70’s  but….nonetheless.  The whole concept of chanting in a room together pretty much seemed like some sort of devil worshipping ritual to me coming from a New Orleans catholic school girl.  I just never really understood the purpose.  And this is where I normally say something like “until I started yoga”. But the truth is….I still didn’t get the point of chanting when I started yoga or even after years and years of practice.

I would watch in a yoga class or meditation class and see how chanting seemed to be beneficial. But it just wasn’t for me.  Saying the same word or phrase over and over again seemed unnecessary and pointless.  So I decided to look at it a different way.  I started seeing chanting as a gentle reminder to myself of something I need at that moment.  Like a little internal pep talk.  Like a repetitive theme song in your head. Like a personal applause track playing at your whim.  And so I now embrace the idea of pumping myself up with a word or phrase (or chant) that resonates with me when I need it.  I mean, who wouldn’t want their own cheering squad following them around?  Mine just happens to be me.  

 

 

 Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She has been practicing yoga for about 5 years and made a dream come true when she became a certified yoga instructor RYT 200 in June 2020.  She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  She also calls herself the yoga lawyer.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram  (@txyogalawyer, @yogalawyer1123, @coachingbyallyb, @texasdivorcecoach) Facebook (@txyogalawyer and @coachingbyallyb) and Twitter (@coachingbyallyb).  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com