5 (or 6) Simple Ways to Relieve Stress in Stressful Times
by Allyson N. Brupbacher
We are dealing with unprecedented times. A global pandemic? Check. Social Distancing? Check. Businesses closing? Check Parents learning to be teachers to their own children? Check. Forced to stay inside? Check. Just one of those things would be enough to send most people in a tailspin of stress-eating or anxiety ridden insomnia or even rocking back and forth in a corner crying. And it’s okay to feel anxious. It’s okay to feel fear. But remember that those are feelings. But you are not fearful. You are not anxious. Those feelings will pass and you will still be you. This blog is meant to help all of us through trying times now and in the future. For when we need a little something to get us back to some sense of normal in an abnormal time.
Being a divorce lawyer (and possibly a scientist in a former life), I like to see “evidence” or real proof of how things really work. So, while some of what I am talking about in this blog are things you’ve heard before, I’m hoping that by putting some science behind them, it helps you realize the reasons behind why these steps really work.
1. Gratitude
I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before—"be thankful for what you have” or “count your blessing”. But truth is, having a gratitude practice changes your brain and makes you happier and less likely to be depressed. Most studies show that gratitude is helpful for well-functioning people. But in one study from Berkley, the researchers found that gratitude can be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. [1]
So, how does gratitude make us happier? It’s not just about being positive (hint: it’s about not being so negative). Gratitude keeps us from being negative. When we have a gratitude journal or gratitude practice that includes writing, the same Berkley study showed that the participants who used less negative words and more inclusive words like “we” were the ones that were happier. Gratitude helps us focus on the positive rather than ruminate on the negative.
How long does a gratitude practice take to feel the effects? Many studies show that having a gratitude practice works pretty quickly. However, even more interesting is that the practice of gratitude actually gets greater with time. So the good news is gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.
And in a follow up study[2], researchers found that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future and contribute to improved mental health over time.
2. Smile!
Smiling is an act of happiness. But science also shows us that smiling makes us happy and smiling produces happiness inside us. [3] And each time you smile you are releasing happy chemicals in your body that help fight off stress and depression. [4] Those happy chemicals (dopamine, endorphins and serotonin) are released every time you smile. [5] And it even happens when you make yourself smile. You heard me. You can just flash those pearly whites right now and get a dose of that happy cocktail.
An extra bonus is that smiling (and generally being happy) can boost your immunity and protect you from many possible diseases.[6] Exactly what we need in a time where our immunities are being bombarded.
An extra extra bonus to smiling is—smiling really is contagious.[7] That means if you smile at someone right now, you could start your own smile “epidemic” and make some happy in this trying time. Think about that, every time you smile at someone--you have the power to help both of you become happier healthier people who can fight off stress and possibly live longer.
3. Doing for Others
We all know that helping other people or volunteering is a commendable thing. But did you know that it’s also good for us? It’s true. That runner’s high (where endorphins are released in our brain) is also released when we do charitable deeds—The Helper’s High. In fact, the giver of such charitable acts has a sense of joy and happiness which reduces stress levels (which leads to a lot of other great by-products including living a longer life). Not to mention that helping others (especially in a time of need like we are experiencing now, well, helps others.)
Another reason helping others is good for us is that it forces us to focus on someone else rather than ourselves. When we are in a funk, it’s hard to see past what is right in front of us. When our task is to help someone else, we move that focus to the person we are helping and it shifts our perspective.
4. Sunshine
Let it shine! Literally. Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting your mood and helping a person feel calm and focused. (Nighttime and the absence of light triggers the brain’s release of the hormone called melatonin).
Not only does sunshine help boost your mood, studies show that decreased sun exposure has been associated with a drop in serotonin levels which can lead to depression and seasonal affective disorder.
So take a quick break, go for a walk outside (5 to 15 minutes) and get some sunlight on your arms, hands and face 2-3 times per week. That is enough to get all the benefits of sunlight according to the World Health Organization.
5. Breathing
When we get stressed, our emotional brain is in the one in charge. (Our frontal brain or the logic brain gets pushed to the back). Under stressful times, our primal brain or amydala is in charge of assessing whether we are in a situation that requires fight or flight or flee. But our amygdala doesn’t know if the stimuli is a dinosaur or work stress or a pandemic. Your nervous system has two parts the sympathetic—which controls the fight, flight or flee response and the parasympathetic—which controls your rest and relax response. These two systems can’t both work at the same time. That means that if you activate one, the other will be suppressed.
So what is a simple way for us to activate the “calming” system? Ahhhhh….breathing……
There are two basic types of breathing:
· Chest breathing—which uses secondary muscles in your upper chest. Chest breathing is designed to be used in situations of great exertion, such as a sprint or race. During stressful situations, you may inadvertently resort to chest breathing.
· Diaphragmatic breathing—which comes from the body’s dominant breathing muscle—the diaphragm. This type of breathing is more effective and efficient. Tip: put one hand on your chest and one on your diaphragm (Tip: to find your diaphragm without an MRI, measure about 3 fingers below your rib cage). Next, take air in so that your chest does not move but you feel the entire diaphragm fill up and deflate.
Your body knows that when you are under real stress (like the dinosaur we talked about earlier) your breath becomes quick, shallow and irregular. So when you take full deep breaths, your body assumes you are not in real danger and starts to act accordingly. You can trick your brain and body to believe that you are calm and cool just by slowing down and deepening your breath.
These are my two favorite deep breathing techniques:
Beginner: square breathing. This technique is as simple as it can be. Start with 3 and build up from there. This means you breathe in through your nose for a count of 3. Hold the breath for the count of 3. Exhale through your nose for a count of 3. Hold the exhale at the end for a count of 3. And repeat for about one minute.
Advanced: 4-7-8. This technique may seem simple but it takes practice. And when I first started doing it, I had to start lying down so I wouldn’t get light headed. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your belly full of breath for a count of 7. Exhale through your nose slowly for a count of 8. Repeat and work up to this breath work for about a minute.
6. Bonus: Yoga
Of course I’m a huge proponent of the benefits of Yoga. And not just because I love yoga and it’s changed my life. (See my blog titled: Everything I Need to Know I learned in Yoga Class: How to Transform Your Life with Yoga (Even if You’re Not Down, Dog). It’s scientifically proven (yay science) that yoga is good for you and specifically helps in reducing stress.
· Yoga can decrease the secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone. [8]
· Yoga can help reduce anxiety levels after practicing only twice a week for a period of two months.[10]
· Yoga can significantly reduce signs of PTSD in only 10 weeks of practice of one class per week.[11]
Nothing in this blog is meant as a miracle to make us all get over the fact that we are in unchartered territory. I get it—we are making it all up as we go. So if you do try these steps and you still feel sad and anxious, it’s okay. We all have those days. This blog is meant as a reminder that there are some very simple things that we can do every day that can chemically and emotionally help lift our moods—even if it’s just for a short period of time. Just to reset our minds to bring us back to the present. Simple ways to try to get to a new sense of “normal” for everyone. And if this helps just one person, then that’s the “normal” I’ll take.
[1] Y. Joel Wong, Jesse Owen, Nicole T. Gabana, Joshua W. Brown, Sydney McInnis, Paul toth & Lynn Gilman (2018 Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a. Randomized controlled trial, Psychotherapy Research, 28:2, 192-202, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332
[2] Id.
[3] Primitive emotional contagion. Hatfield, Elaine: Cacioppo, John T.: Rapson Richard L. Clark, Margaret S. (Ed), (1992). Emotion and social behavior. Review of personality and social psychology, Vol. 14., (pp. 151-177). Thousand Oaks, CA., US: Sage Publications, Inc, xi, 311 pp.
[4] Seaward BL. Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett; 2009-258.
[5] R.D. (2000). Neural correlates of conscious emotional experience. In R.D. Lane & L. Nadel (Eds.), Cognitive neuroscience of emotion (pp. 345-370). New York: Oxford University Press.
[7] Sonnby-Borgstrom, M. (2002), Automatic mimicry reactions as related to differences in emotional empathy. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 43: 433-443.
[8] Katuri KK, Dasari AB, Kurapati S, Vinnakota NR, Bollepalli AC, Dhulipalla R. Association of yoga practice and serum cortisol levels in chronic periodontitis patients with stress-related anxiety and depression. J Int Soc Prev Community Dent. 2016;6(1):7–14. doi:10.4103/2231-0762.175404
[9] Smith C., Hancock H., Blake-Mortimer J., Eckert K., A randomized comparative trial of yoga and relaxation to reduce stress and anxiety, Complement Ther Med. 2007 Jun; 15(2): 77-83. Epub 2006 June 21
[10] Javnbakht M., Hejazi Kenari R., Ghasemi M., Effects of yoga on depression and anxiety of women, Complement Ther Clin Pract. 2009 May; 15(2): 102-4. Doi: 10.1016/j.ctcp.2009.01.003 Epub 2009 Mar 20
[11] Van der Kolk BA., Stone L., West J., Rhodes A., Emerson D., Suvak M., Spinazzola J., Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder: a randomized controlled trial. J Clin Psychiatry. 2014 Jun; 75(6):e559-65. Doi: 10.4088/JCP.13m08561
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