10 Ways to Combat All This Damn Quarantine Sitting

10 Ways to Combat All This Damn Quarantine Sitting

by Allyson N. Brupbacher

We are all quarantined because we are trying to avoid a dangerous plague.  But did you know that sitting around all day was pretty dangerous too?   

We all know that we need to get up and stand every hour. Most of us have watches or phones that guilt us to do exactly that.  But during this quarantine, it’s so damn hard to get up and get moving (thanks Newton for explaining to us that objects at rest tend to stay at rest).  

“Sitting is the new smoking,” warned Wired magazine in 2013.  And research links highly sedentary lifestyle with a shorter life span.  In fact there is a study that shows that even sitting for more than 3 hours a day can cut your life expectancy by 2 years.  Another study from the British Journal of Sports Medicine shows that every hour you sit in front of the TV can slash your life expectancy by nearly 22 minutes and for every 6 hours sitting and watching TV can cut your life expectancy by 5 years.  Holy crap!  There goes my plans to binge watch Ozark over the weekend.  Sitting can also increase the risk of having chronic illnesses like heart disease and diabetes and even cancer.   

And it’s not just the act of sitting that is problematic.  Being static just doesn’t make the body “stuck” it makes the mind stuck too.  Sometimes we need a little break just so we can get blood flow and get our brains to re-group.

Here are 10 easy ways to counteract all the sitting we have been doing since we have to stay in and stay home.  

1.    Neck rolls

Benefits:  Releases tension and stress and increases flexibility. 

How to Do it:  slowly tilt head toward one shoulder. Hold for 10 seconds.  Alternate sides.

        2.    Butt clench

Benefits:  Tightens and strengthens your gluteus muscles.  Relieves back pain.

How to Do it:  Lift one glute up and almost off your chair/couch/floor. Then shift to the other glute. Do it back and forth for 30 seconds.  Next squeeze both glutes together and hold for 10 seconds.

3.    Arm circles

Benefits:  Works shoulders and improves posture

How to Do it:  Raise your arms straight out to your sides to form a T-shape.  Press your shoulder blades together.  Extend arms with palms down, thumbs facing forward. Do 20 forward circles. Flip your palms up with your thumbs facing behind you and to 20 backward circles.  Repeat 2-3 times

4.    Sitali breathing

Benefits:  It releases tension and relieves stress and anger and brings you a more balanced and clear state.

How to Do it: sit in a chair or flor in a crossed-legged position with your eyes closed.  Stick your tongue out and curl up its outer edges (if you can’t curl your tongue try to form a slight “O” with the mouth).  Inhale through the mouth, letting the air over the tongue, feeling a cool breath, and then exhale through your nose.

5.    Football fast feet

Benefits:  Brings your heart rate up

How to Do it:  sit at your chair with your feet flat on the ground.  Rapidly tap your feet in place as if you are running in place.  Do this for 30 seconds.  Pause. Then do it for another 30 seconds.  

6.    Forward fold

Benefits: Gives a deep shoulder and hamstring stretch. Provides release for lower back and helps with stress and anxiety.  Also allows blood flow to the brain.  

How to Do it:  Stand with your feet at hips width. Slowly bend forward from the hips.  Bend knees slightly to give a release to the lower back. Hold for 1 minute.

  

  

7.    Pigeon pose

Benefits:  Opens up flexibility in the hips.  (called the king of hip openers). Opens up the chest and shoulders.

How to Do it:  start on your hands and knees.  Bring right knee forward towards your right wrist. Your right ankle will be somewhere in front of your left hip.  Slide your left leg back and point your toes, your heel is pointing up to the ceiling.  Keep hips level as you walk hands forward and lower your upper body towards the floor. You can rest your forearms and forehead on the mat.  Hold each side for 2 minutes or more.

  

8.    Child’s pose

Benefits:  Helps turn us inward and slows our minds.  Gently opens up the back, hips and shoulders

How to Do it: Sit down with your legs folded beneath you, toes touching and knees spread apart from each other.  Drape your chest down between your thighs, bringing your forehead to the floor.  Choose to extend arms in front of you or resting by your sides.  Breathe deeply.  

 

9.     Windshield wipers

Benefits:  A gentle massage for the lower back while stretching the upper thighs.  Works deep into the hips and lower back.  

How to Do it:  lie on your back with your legs bent and feet slightly wider than hips.  Flex feet while keeping heels on the floor and toes pointing to the ceiling.  Gently windshield wiper your knees from side to side.  

10.Legs up the wall

Benefits: Stretches the hamstrings and lower back. Pelvic floor relaxation.  Facilitates venous drainage and increases circulation.  Soothes swollen or cramped feet and legs.  

How to Do it: Scoot your bottom to a wall.  Put your legs up in a comfortable position.  Hold for at least 5 minutes.

  

This blog is not meant to add one more thing to your list of why I need to shame myself today. It’s not mean to make you feel like you are not “winning” because you’re not like all your “friends” on social media crushing it every day.  This is meant to remind you that—sure we have days that getting out of bed is a feat.  But it doesn’t take much to neutralize those days.  It doesn’t take much effort to offset some bad practices we are picking up right now.  And most importantly, remember this:  it’s okay to have a bad day—we all do.  But if you can live by this rule of thumb:  you should have more good days in the week than bad (and substitute that with pretty much anything—more days you exercise than not, more days you are mindful about what you eat than days you eat fast food, more days you don’t drink than days you do, etc. etc. etc.) than those bad propensities are harder to turn into habits.   

 (Special Thanks to my teenage daughter for modeling all the poses.)

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing  family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com. 

What is Lagniappe Living?

What does Lagniappe Living Mean?

 

In New Orleans, where I’m from, the word “lagniappe” is synonymous with “cher”, “laissez les bon temps rouler” and “gris gris”.  Oh, that probably doesn’t help, does it?  Well, in simple terms, “lagniappe” means something extra or a bonus.  Typically it refers to a small gift given to a customer by a merchant at the time of purchase or something given or obtained gratuitously or by way of good measure.  

 

Lagniappe (pronounced ‘lan-yap’) is actually a modified form of a. Louisiana French creole term that derives from the New-World Spanish la ñapa, a gift, which in turn has its origin in a Quechua word yapa for a gift or tip.

 

Now, that you’ve had a linguistics tutorial, let me tell you what I mean when I say we need to all be “lagniappe living”.  It has a two-part meaning.  First, I mean that you need to always been living your best life.  Yeah, yeah, I know, right?  You’ve heard that phrase a million times.  Well, now a million and one.  But seriously, it’s true.  You need to be out there.  You need to be trying and risking and asking and taking.  You need to be falling down and picking yourself right back up.  You need to be learning and searching and creating.  And when you do ALL of that, you get a little something unexpected and “extra”.  When you are “checking out” at the proverbial “universe” store, you get a little something extra in your bag.  A little gift for your efforts.  The universe rewards YOU because YOU deserve it.  It’s as if your efforts are doubled (and who doesn’t love more of a good thing, right?).  

 

The second meaning of lagniappe living is that when you live like you are capable and focused and determined and humble and mindful--you give a little extra out into the universe and to the people around you.  You give out a little “lagniappe” to others.  You make the next person in line get a “bonus”.  You are paying it forward (darnit, I bet you thought I wouldn’t use another tired phrase, didn’t you?).  You are the “gift”.  Your presence is the “reward”.  Your “presence” is the “present” (see how I did that?).  

 

So now that this all sinks in, you can go out today (or tomorrow or next week—No, I really meant today—Living Lagniappe does not mean you can slack) and really put this to practice.  You can give it your all and receive even more.  You can know that your efforts pay off and then some.  You will see how tiny changes in your life can make BIG differences.  

 

Next time we’ll talk about some of the small changes you can start with.  But for now, laissez les bon temps rouler!

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing  family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram @coachingbyallyb and @texasdivorcecoahc, Facebook and Twitter @coachingbyallyb.  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com. 

What is a Divorce Coach?

Divorce—the real and raw statistics 

 

In the United States, 42-45% of first marriages end in divorce.  And 60% of second marriages end in divorce.  In the US, someone gets divorced every 13 seconds.  First marriages last an average of 8 years.  25% of people over the age of 18 years old, have had their parents divorce. The average age of someone getting divorced is 30 years old.   One out of every 10 children will go through multiple divorces with their parents.  And shockingly, 40% of American children have no father in their lives.  

 

In light of these scary statistics, is there a way to have a “healthy divorce”?

 

The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear.  Sometimes these feelings can rise up when you least expect them, catching you off guard.  Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside.  In the meantime, there are resources to help and things you can do to help you get through this phase.

 

Divorce does not have to be war.  There are ways to work towards the same goal.  There are options that allow you to avoid the courtroom.  Alternative Dispute Resolutions like mediation and even Collaborative Law allow parties to work together without running down to the courthouse to get answers.  This not only helps parents heal faster and be efficient, it also can save the parties money in the long room.

 

When children are involved

 

Divorce can be traumatic to children.  But research suggests that most children adjust well within two years following the divorce.  On the other hand, children often experience more problems when parents remain in high-conflict.  During a divorce, parents can do a lot to ease the child’s transition.  Do your best to keep any conflict away from the kids.  And do your best to talk to your children so they understand it’s not their fault that their parents can’t work things out.

 

Take care of yourself

 

The changes and stresses that are brought on by separation and divorce and more so the divorce process can be overwhelming.  But it’s important to remember to take care of yourself and not get distracted that it affects your normal daily life too much.  It’s a good idea to surround yourself with family and friends and other support.  It’s very important to eat right, get exercise and sleep during this time as well.

 

 

 

How a Divorce Coach can help?

 

We work as a team with lawyers and other professionals through out the divorce process by doing the non-legal work that lawyers don’t have the time or resources to do.  In addition, divorce coaches provide customized support to parties in all areas of their lives that allow them to be better litigants, better parents, and better clients.  Divorce coaches help people get “unstuck” during this transitional phase of their life.

 

What are examples of Services provided by a Divorce Coach during the Divorce Process?

 

·      Navigating people through the divorce process and providing explanations for the many stages of divorce 

·      Helping people avoid the biggest and most common mistakes during the divorce process

·      Working with people through the personal and financial needs and concerns for parents and children

·      Helping people build a personal support system

·      Providing resources for other needed professionals (therapists, life coaches, financial planners, parenting facilitators/coordinators, health and wellness care professionals)

·      Teaching strong co-parenting skills

·      Helping people set reasonable goals for the divorce/litigation process

·      Assisting people to clarify and focus their concerns to encourage sound decision making

·      Witness and trial preparation 

·      Getting people ready for life “after the divorce”

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing  family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram @coachingbyallyb and @texasdivorcecoahc, Facebook and Twitter @coachingbyallyb.  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com. 

 

5 (or 6) Simple Ways to Relieve Stress in Stressful Times

5 (or 6) Simple Ways to Relieve Stress in Stressful Times

by Allyson N. Brupbacher

We are dealing with unprecedented times.  A global pandemic? Check. Social Distancing?  Check. Businesses closing? Check  Parents learning to be teachers to their own children? Check. Forced to stay inside?  Check. Just one of those things would be enough to send most people in a tailspin of stress-eating or anxiety ridden insomnia or even rocking back and forth in a corner crying.  And it’s okay to feel anxious.  It’s okay to feel fear.  But remember that those are feelings.  But you are not fearful.  You are not anxious.  Those feelings will pass and you will still be you.  This blog is meant to help all of us through trying times now and in the future.  For when we need a little something to get us back to some sense of normal in an abnormal time.

Being a divorce lawyer (and possibly a scientist in a former life), I like to see “evidence” or real proof of how things really work.   So, while some of what I am talking about in this blog are things you’ve heard before, I’m hoping that by putting some science behind them, it helps you realize the reasons behind why these steps really work.

1.    Gratitude

I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before—"be thankful for what you have” or “count your blessing”. But truth is, having a gratitude practice changes your brain and makes you happier and less likely to be depressed. Most studies show that gratitude is helpful for well-functioning people.  But in one study from Berkley, the researchers found that gratitude can be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. [1]

         So, how does gratitude make us happier?  It’s not just about being positive (hint: it’s about not being so negative). Gratitude keeps us from being negative.  When we have a gratitude journal or gratitude practice that includes writing, the same Berkley study showed that the participants who used less negative words and more inclusive words like “we” were the ones that were happier.  Gratitude helps us focus on the positive rather than ruminate on the negative.

How long does a gratitude practice take to feel the effects?  Many studies show that having a gratitude practice works pretty quickly.  However, even more interesting is that the practice of gratitude actually gets greater with time.  So the good news is gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.

And in a follow up study[2], researchers found that practicing gratitude may help train the brain to be more sensitive to the experience of gratitude in the future and contribute to improved mental health over time.

2.    Smile!

Smiling is an act of happiness.  But science also shows us that smiling makes us happy and smiling produces happiness inside us.  [3] And each time you smile you are releasing happy chemicals in your body that help fight off stress and depression. [4]  Those happy chemicals (dopamine, endorphins and serotonin) are released every time you smile. [5]  And it even happens when you make yourself smile.  You heard me. You can just flash those pearly whites right now and get a dose of that happy cocktail.  

An extra bonus is that smiling (and generally being happy) can boost your immunity and protect you from many possible diseases.[6]  Exactly what we need in a time where our immunities are being bombarded.  

An extra extra bonus to smiling is—smiling really is contagious.[7]  That means if you smile at someone right now, you could start your own smile “epidemic” and make some happy in this trying time.  Think about that, every time you smile at someone--you have the power to help both of you become happier healthier people who can fight off stress and possibly live longer.  

3.    Doing for Others

We all know that helping other people or volunteering is a commendable thing.  But did you know that it’s also good for us?  It’s true.  That runner’s high (where endorphins are released in our brain) is also released when we do charitable deeds—The Helper’s High. In fact, the giver of such charitable acts has a sense of joy and happiness which reduces stress levels (which leads to a lot of other great by-products including living a longer life).  Not to mention that helping others (especially in a time of need like we are experiencing now, well, helps others.)

Another reason helping others is good for us is that it forces us to focus on someone else rather than ourselves.  When we are in a funk, it’s hard to see past what is right in front of us. When our task is to help someone else, we move that focus to the person we are helping and it shifts our perspective.  

4.    Sunshine

Let it shine! Literally.  Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin.  Serotonin is associated with boosting your mood and helping a person feel calm and focused.  (Nighttime and the absence of light triggers the brain’s release of the hormone called melatonin).  

Not only does sunshine help boost your mood, studies show that decreased sun exposure has been associated with a drop in serotonin levels which can lead to depression and seasonal affective disorder.  

So take a quick break, go for a walk outside (5 to 15 minutes) and get some sunlight on your arms, hands and face 2-3 times per week.  That is enough to get all the benefits of sunlight according to the World Health Organization.  

5.    Breathing

When we get stressed,  our emotional brain is in the one in charge. (Our frontal brain or the logic brain gets pushed to the back).  Under stressful times, our primal brain or amydala is in charge of assessing whether we are in a situation that requires fight or flight or flee.  But our amygdala doesn’t know if the stimuli is a dinosaur or work stress or a pandemic.  Your nervous system has two parts the sympathetic—which controls the fight, flight or flee response and the parasympathetic—which controls your rest and relax response.  These two systems can’t both work at the same time.  That means that if you activate one, the other will be suppressed.  

So what is a simple way for us to activate the “calming” system?  Ahhhhh….breathing……  

There are two basic types of breathing:

·      Chest breathing—which uses secondary muscles in your upper chest.  Chest breathing is designed to be used in situations of great exertion, such as a sprint or race.  During stressful situations, you may inadvertently resort to chest breathing.  

·      Diaphragmatic breathing—which comes from the body’s dominant breathing muscle—the diaphragm.  This type of breathing is more effective and efficient.  Tip:  put one hand on your chest and one on your diaphragm (Tip: to find your diaphragm without an MRI, measure about 3 fingers below your rib cage).  Next, take air in so that your chest does not move but you feel the entire diaphragm fill up and deflate.  

Your body knows that when you are under real stress (like the dinosaur we talked about earlier) your breath becomes quick, shallow and irregular.  So when you take full deep breaths, your body assumes you are not in real danger and starts to act accordingly.  You can trick your brain and body to believe that you are calm and cool just by slowing down and deepening your breath.

These are my two favorite deep breathing techniques:

Beginner:  square breathing.  This technique is as simple as it can be.  Start with 3 and build up from there.  This means you breathe in through your nose for a count of 3. Hold the breath for the count of 3.  Exhale through your nose for a count of 3. Hold the exhale at the end for a count of 3.  And repeat for about one minute.

Advanced:  4-7-8.  This technique may seem simple but it takes practice.  And when I first started doing it, I had to start lying down so I wouldn’t get light headed.  Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.  Hold your belly full of breath for a count of 7.  Exhale through your nose slowly for a count of 8.  Repeat and work up to this breath work for about a minute.

6.    Bonus:  Yoga

Of course I’m a huge proponent of the benefits of Yoga.  And not just because I love yoga and it’s changed my life.  (See my blog titled:  Everything I Need to Know I learned in Yoga Class:  How to Transform Your Life with Yoga (Even if You’re Not Down, Dog).  It’s scientifically proven (yay science) that yoga is good for you and specifically helps in reducing stress.     

                                    

·      Yoga can decrease the secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone. [8]

·      Yoga can reduce stress and anxiety and improve quality of life and mental health.  [9]

·      Yoga can help reduce anxiety levels after practicing only twice a week for a period of two months.[10]

·      Yoga can significantly reduce signs of PTSD in only 10 weeks of practice of one class per week.[11]

Nothing in this blog is meant as a miracle to make us all get over the fact that we are in unchartered territory.  I get it—we are making it all up as we go.  So if you do try these steps and you still feel sad and anxious, it’s okay.  We all have those days.  This blog is meant as a reminder that there are some very simple things that we can do every day that can chemically and emotionally help lift our moods—even if it’s just for a short period of time. Just to reset our minds to bring us back to the present.  Simple ways to try to get to a new sense of “normal” for everyone.  And if this helps just one person, then that’s the “normal” I’ll take.

Allyson Brupbacher was born and raised in New Orleans until she enrolled and then graduated from University of Houston Law School in 1997.  She has been practicing  family law for over 20 years.  She is board certified in family law and a licensed mediator. She lives in Houston, Texas.  She describes herself as a lawyer, mother and badass but not necessarily in that order.  Her background provides a unique perspective to help parties in the middle of a divorce.  If you are in need of a divorce or transitional coach, contact her at www.coachingbyallyb.com or email at allyb@coachingbyallyb.com or follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.  And visit her blog--https://coachingbyallyb.blogspot.com. 

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[1] Y. Joel Wong, Jesse Owen, Nicole T. Gabana, Joshua W. Brown, Sydney McInnis, Paul toth & Lynn Gilman (2018 Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a. Randomized controlled trial, Psychotherapy Research, 28:2, 192-202, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332

[2] Id.

[3] Primitive emotional contagion. Hatfield, Elaine: Cacioppo, John T.: Rapson Richard L. Clark, Margaret S. (Ed), (1992). Emotion and social behavior.  Review of personality and social psychology, Vol. 14., (pp. 151-177). Thousand Oaks, CA., US: Sage Publications, Inc, xi, 311 pp.

[4] Seaward BL. Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett; 2009-258.

[5] R.D. (2000). Neural correlates of conscious emotional experience. In R.D. Lane & L. Nadel (Eds.), Cognitive neuroscience of emotion (pp. 345-370). New York: Oxford University Press.

[6] Strean WB. Laughter prescription. Can Fam Physician. 2009;55(10):965–967.

[7] Sonnby-Borgstrom, M. (2002), Automatic mimicry reactions as related to differences in emotional empathy. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 43: 433-443.

[8] Katuri KK, Dasari AB, Kurapati S, Vinnakota NR, Bollepalli AC, Dhulipalla R. Association of yoga practice and serum cortisol levels in chronic periodontitis patients with stress-related anxiety and depression. J Int Soc Prev Community Dent. 2016;6(1):7–14. doi:10.4103/2231-0762.175404

[9] Smith C., Hancock H., Blake-Mortimer J., Eckert K., A randomized comparative trial of yoga and relaxation to reduce stress and anxiety, Complement Ther Med. 2007 Jun; 15(2): 77-83. Epub 2006 June 21

[10] Javnbakht M., Hejazi Kenari R., Ghasemi M., Effects of yoga on depression and anxiety of women, Complement Ther Clin Pract. 2009 May; 15(2): 102-4. Doi: 10.1016/j.ctcp.2009.01.003 Epub 2009 Mar 20

[11] Van der Kolk BA., Stone L., West J., Rhodes A., Emerson D., Suvak M., Spinazzola J., Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder: a randomized controlled trial. J Clin Psychiatry. 2014 Jun; 75(6):e559-65. Doi: 10.4088/JCP.13m08561